Ramadan reflections: Lessons we learnt this year

In our private membership community we’ve been reflecting on the blessed month of Ramadan that just passed—what it looked like, what we struggled with, and what we’re hoping to carry forward.

It started with some honest conversations. There were parenting struggles, moments of exhaustion, and days where we just didn’t feel like we were doing “enough.” 

One thing that came up was how sometimes you make so much dua for something, and when it finally comes, it’s not always ease that follows. Sometimes you get what you asked for, but then get tested in a new way. And maybe that’s the point—Allah gives, but also teaches us through what He gives. So we keep making dua. For strength. For clarity. For contentment. And for the ability to carry whatever He gives us with patience.

Parenting During Ramadan & Social media

Parenting during Ramadan is a test of its own. You're fasting, trying to do more acts of worship, and also showing up as a parent. It’s not easy being patient when you’re tired. And it’s even harder when you feel like everyone else is doing Ramadan “better” than you.

We talked a lot about how navigating social media during Ramadan can be difficult. The decorated homes, the Ramadan baskets, activities for every day of the month.

It’s inspiring seeing everyone strive to share good deeds, but also overwhelming. Especially if you’re going through a hard season in life—like moving house or navigating a difficult family situation.

It can make you feel like you’re behind, like you didn’t make the most of Ramadan. Like you didn’t do enough.

But what we realised is—this is exactly where Shaytan wants our thoughts to go after Ramadan. To devalue the effort we did make. 

Every Effort Counts

Cooking iftar for your family? That’s worship. Hosting guests? Worship. Holding back anger while fasting? Worship. Looking after your kids when you’d rather be reading Qur’an? That’s still an act of worship if your intention is to please Allah.

Allah sees it all. Even the smallest things. And we shouldn’t undermine what we’ve done, just because it didn’t look the way we imagined.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, " There are two words which are dear to Allah and very easy for the tongue to say, but very heavy in weight in the balance. They are: ''Subhan Allah wa-bi hamdihi'' and ''Subhan Allah Al-`Azim."

— even the smallest act can be heavy on the scale. [ Sahih al-Bukhari 7563]

Maybe you didn’t finish the Qur’an—but you made dua while cleaning up toys. Maybe you missed taraweeh because your child wouldn’t sleep—but you whispered dhikr while rocking them. That counts.

Ramadan as a Reset

We discussed how Ramadan showed us our potential; we were able to be more patient, we focused more on the akhirah and less on the day-to-day stress. It showed us that we can be more God conscious. We saw what we were capable of in Ramadan so we can try to continue the remembrance of Allah throughout the rest of the year.

Continuing the Good

We talked about using a simple weekly habit tracker—just to help keep the momentum going. As a way to check in with ourselves regularly. Whether it’s a bit of Qur’an, extra salah, more dhikr, or regular dua—small things that you tried to achieve during Ramadan. It was recommended to write out the habit tracker in a physical book so you can look back at it over the next few months and see your progress.

We also emphasised the importance of continuing to learn and listen to lectures that help you remember Allah.

We really enjoyed these resources in Ramadan:

• Qur’an 30 for 30 – this series by Yaqeen Institute is one not to be missed in Ramadan.

• Sheikh Omar Suleiman’s Barzakh series – this series was so eye opening and showed us how temporary this life is.

• Ramadan Reflections by Aliyah Umm Rayyan – this book is a great companion to have during Ramadan. 

If your Ramadan didn’t look the way you thought it would—that’s okay. Allah doesn’t expect perfection. He wants sincerity.

Keep going. Even if it’s slow. Even if it’s small. Allah sees it all.